Thursday, August 25, 2011

Wedding Day Jitters AGAIN

Well, here I am, getting myself ready for another wedding. It is unnerving trying to find something to wear to a wedding, especially when you're in the midst of trying to lose weight and look great. I went to a wedding last month and wore what I was always told was the forbidden color - BLACK. But it was an evening wedding so figured it was appropriate. I looked good; actually I looked great!! And so did my friends from college. We all looked good for being 10 years out of college!

But now, I've got to do it all over again! I'm going to see the same ladies since another one of the University of Richmond sisters is getting married. DAMMIT!!! That means I can't wear the same thing. Here I go scavenging through my closet trying to find something that will accentuate my shape and hide the small kangaroo pouch I'm still working on. I'm in my closet and the stuff that I look completely fabulous in are well, not appropriate for a wedding - at least, I don't think the Red Hot dress is appropriate. The other items in my closet, uh, you can tell I wore them when I was a different size and they don't quite demonstrate the va va voom woman that I am.

(SIGH) I think it's the "Semi-formal" attire throwing me off. I have an evening gown but that would be too much, right? Then of course, you gotta pick something comfortable to dance in at the reception; something you don't mind sweating in and since I'm travelling, something that will travel well. Where do they make that? Events like this make me second guess whether I've been as diligent as I should be with my workouts. I'm teaching 4 Zumba® Fitness classes a week, eating well, strength training but you know, I haven't had much sleep and I know I can't lose weight without sleeping. Yeah, I need balance all around or else, it just doesn't work. I could just go out and buy something that next year, I'll probably NOT want to wear again. That always happens with my last minute purchases; they're usually not useful after the initial purchase.

With these events, I worry that I've somehow gained enough weight to look like a completely unrecognizeable person. And then, I'm concerned that I picked something homely and safe. Who cares about what the bride looks like in these pictures?!?! I will be forever etched in the memory of that day too!!

Okay, breathe. I'm clearly overreacting at this point but I have had that anxiety and almost NOT gone to someone's wedding because I didn't want to be the fat, single girl at the wedding trying desparately to catch the bouquet (To date, I now have caught a total of 3). Uhm, just so you know, I still have nothing to wear. Today is Thursday, the wedding is Saturday in NY. HELP!!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Fountain of Youth

By George, I think I've found the fountain of youth. No really, I think so. I'm not ashamed to tell people that I have reached my 30's! It always seems to be a shock to people that I'm not still in my 20's. I'll admit, I actually like it when younger men try to pick me up. I was recently at a small house party and it spilled out that I was over 30; as a matter of fact, I'll be turning 32 this year, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Well, you must have thought I was standing there naked because everyone's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Ha, I think my mouth dropped out a little when they revealed they were still in their 20's when I would have guessed that we were all the same age. One young lady finally asked me, "What's your secret? What are you doing?" In my "as a matter of fact" way, I said, "I exercise, I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, I don't drink heavily and I . . . " - I paused. I was getting ready to say, "I don't smoke" but the young lady that asked for the secret had puffed three cigarettes in the short time that I'd been there. That would have been an absolute slap in the face, right? Maybe I should have said it anyway. Isn't it general knowledge that smoking ages you? It hinders your breathing, makes your tongue and teeth grey and gives you purple lips. Smoking will restrict blood flow and if the blood ain't pumping, the rosy cheeks from youth will quickly fade to grey (or worse, black - YUCK!!) I finally told her that I do my best to enjoy life and smile a lot.

"So you exercise?"
"Yes, at least 3 or 4 days a week" (at that point, I wasn't teaching Zumba yet but I was taking class).
"Wow, I need to exercise. I'd probably pass out."

Was that my window to let her know I also didn't smoke? Because I was thinking it and according to the host, he was thinking it too!!

Have you ever taken a real assessment of your age? Dr. Oz does the real age test when he puts guests into the truth tube revealing their Blood Pressure, Cholesterol Levels and Weight. What is aging you? There are plenty of things that can, and some of them, I want you to get rid of immediately. I'm not going to say food, or cigarettes, or tell you that you need to exercise more (though don't count these out). I want you to get rid of people. People stress you out and make you frown, make you sad and unhappy. They do; trust me, they do. Stress will age you like nothing else. Staying in a bad or just boring relationship will dry you up. AND slaving (or sleeping) at that boring, ain't got no promotion coming job will stress you out and age you. And you know what stress does? It keeps you from concentrating on your dreams and goals including the goal of losing one more dress size. In order to lose weight, you have to sleep and if you're having trouble sleeping, chances are, you are having trouble losing weight too. I am definitely lacking sleep these days but its from doing what I love. I can see the goal getting closer and closer but while I'm going through, I refuse to be or look defeated. I'm smiling, I'm living, I'm loving and throwing away any trash that might keep me from be the healthy, beautiful woman that I am supposed to be. Eat well, live well, be well.

Keyona

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Wedding Day Jitters

Got my shoes on, jewelry, make up done, the photographer was ready and everyone was waiting for me to come down. Then, there’s the moment when your helper asks, “Are you ready to put on your dress?” The feeling of excitement begins and then the fear . . . the fear that the dress you had on a month ago ain’t gon’ fit!!!
“Maybe I shouldn’t have had that cake at the office party,” you say to yourself as you pray that the Spanx® and long line strapless bra you purchased from my favorite store, Bare Necessities, will hold in those few inches you psychologically gained between the last fitting and the day you actually walk out in your beautiful white gown. That’s enough to make anyone say, “Man, bump dis!” There are a myriad of emotions for a bride on her wedding day and I got to experience them briefly during a photo shoot for Seven Events Unlimited, an event planning company. No, it wasn’t my wedding day but it was sort of like practicing especially worrying if that dress Michelle purchased for me was going to fit. The gown we chose from Lefty’s Bridal fit perfectly across my back, waist and hips. Since I was wearing a perfectly fitting bra, there was actually too much room in the boob. The truth is though, I had expanded enough in the dreaded spare tire to feel self-conscious about how I looked in this beautiful empire waist cream wedding gown. I began to wonder how I would look on my real wedding day. Would that day’s pictures be an indication of the real day? I was nervous my back fat had grown and was hanging. My chubby arms appeared chubbier than normal or was I really just overreacting?
I had taken a month off from teaching my regular Zumba® Fitness class because of all the singing engagements and band rehearsals that were stuffed into my schedule and I was beginning to feel stuffed into that dress. My long line bra was a 36 instead of my usual 34 band and you know how going up a size can make you feel. I hadn’t completely slacked off; I had done some substitute Zumba® classes, gone to the gym and was really watching what I put in my mouth. What could it be? Am I doomed to this 10/12 destiny? It’s not a bad size but dang, I’d like to show my midriff just once and be proud – at least before I’m showing a pregnant midriff one day.
Guess what next . . . another photo shoot 6 days after the wedding shoot. That is NO time to get that waist line together. I began to panic thinking should I starve myself or workout till I pass out. Then my good sense kicked in. Ain’t no way I was going to lose anything with those tactics and keep my sanity. Wait, sanity. And there it was, right in front of me. I had been running in 6th gear all month, going from rehearsal to rehearsal, to ZIN Zumba® Street Team Party, to Dance Ministry rehearsal, learning new dances and new songs, working on my business legal status, sending my song off to industry reps for review, entertaining my boyfriend, sleeping 4 hours, going to my 9 to 5 everyday and losing track of days. Stress had got me. Not the stress that makes you give up but the kind that puts your body in constant motion and survival mode. I wasn’t eating poorly, but I wasn’t eating on schedule because everything else had taken over my schedule and my body was WAY out of wack. I had to come up with something cute and funky to wear that didn’t show I had gained any weight.
Okay, wait weight. Weight! I don’t care about the number, do I? Keyona had to get a grip. I went to my closet to attempt to find something to wear without crying. I chose a funky little T-shirt I’d purchased from Walmart, a black cropped sleeve jacket and dark jeans. I sucked in as I slid the jeans up and buttoned . . . I’m tripping. These jeans actually fit, why am I sucking it in? The T-shirt, fits. Jacket, fits . . . arms not screaming from suffocation. You see how our brains can fool us into thinking something is real and it ain’t? I really thought I had lost control but it was the stress of everything else throwing my normal schedule off balance that made me second guess how sexy I still was!!! (Sorry, had to toot my horn a little).
We panic when some special occasion is coming up. We go on crash diets – grapefruit diet, cabbage diet, fruit only, no carb, low carb, who carb? and anything else we can think of but really, it’s the time we take 6 months prior that counts. Remember the episode of the Cosby Show when Claire was trying to get into this SUPERBAD sequined dress and needed to lose about 5 lbs (I think it was 5)? No one can lose 5 lbs in a week unless you are exercising half a day, every day for an entire week and eating barely enough to survive – you’ll be sick and dehydrated in no time. We have to stay on top of our game. If I hadn’t been on my game those months leading up to the photos shoot, my practice wedding day really could have a disaster (WHEW, thank God for Zumba®!!) I say this to say, do it now while you have the time, before you have to panic, before you buy a dress two sizes smaller in hopes that you’ll be motivated to lose the weight (yeah, I watch Say Yes to the Dress, so what).
Until next time, take care of the body you got, keep your stress down and smile! “You look so much better when you smile” (Kirk Franklin)